ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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