ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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