ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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