ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 20 MARCH 1957
You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move.
Your audience is very engaged. Just not with lifting a sofa.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- Roblox was free. The hat was £4.99. The sword was “everyone has one”.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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