ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 2 AUGUST 1957
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- The game asks if you want to continue. Nobody ever asks if you want…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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