ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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