ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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