ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- A source close to the star confirmed the story. The source is the star.…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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