ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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