ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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