ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 8 FEBRUARY 1959
“Too close to call” means nobody knows.
It is said by people paid a lot to know.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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