ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- The losers stay in office until January. It's the only job where being fired…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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