ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Your job title will outlive you. It's already been posted on LinkedIn, with a…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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