ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- The game asks if you want to continue. Nobody ever asks if you want…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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