ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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