ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.