ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years.
He has, however, given out about forty.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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