ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 14 JANUARY 1961
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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