ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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