ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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