ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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