ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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