ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly.
That's more than your friends manage.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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