ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "don't do small talk".
You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails or replying. You do "vibes", and nobody can invoice those.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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