ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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