ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Your backlog is a library of things you were going to enjoy. It is…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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