ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 17 JANUARY 1962
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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