ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later. Nothing happened.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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