ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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