ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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