ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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