ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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