ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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