ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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