ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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