ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 11 DECEMBER 1964
You rage quit because the game was rigged.
You were also just bad. Both can be true.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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