ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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