ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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