ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Rise and grind.
Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a boat.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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