ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You started a podcast with your mate “for a laugh”. Episode 31 has nine…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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