ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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