ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Your backlog is a library of things you were going to enjoy. It is…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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