ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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