ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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