ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend.
You took a photo of grass, posted it, and checked how many people liked the grass.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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