ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
They were picked first. You're what was left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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