ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 14 JANUARY 1967
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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