ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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