ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your back now goes out when you sneeze.
It goes out more than you do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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