ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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